Ramble; To Be a Warrior

Ramble time again. Seems like there will always be a conflict between the "big warrior," and the "big easy." During the hurricane of Katrina, it came to my attention that New Orleans had the nickname of the Big Easy.

I guess in life, the road of the big easy is always easier than the road of the big warrior. The big easy simply means sit back and take it easy. You can be lackadaisical, lazy, tired, all the things that come to a person from many different reasons -- including age.

But the big dilemma is, life marches on. And especially as one gets older, one realizes that the meter is ticking, the taxi is moving forward, and there are no returns. It's a one-way road, with an expiration at the end. And if you don't do something useful with life now, then when?!

Okay, time for rapidfire talk. And the festivals came and went, and what it definitely has accomplished is that it has made me several weeks older. But any wiser? I don't know about that. I just know that I feel pressure now even more. Things and events are occurring this week and I can feel their burden and pressure upon me.

And what it calls for within me is to find the Warrior. The warrior is aggressive, filled with energy, ready to go into battle, and doesn't sit there taking his pulse the entire day. What a disease that is to be "self-conscious.” To constantly be feeling the "self" and suffering from its incessant negative messages. To find it difficult to take a step without having to answer to some inner voice or thoughts that stand as obstacles.

Why is life such a struggle? Oh goodness, how many people have asked that identical question in so many different circumstances. But is it really life that is the struggle? Or is it simply one's own personal idiocy that never changes until you grab it by the neck and change it. And that calls for the warrior, the Big Warrior -- to do battle with the Big Easy.

This is my rambling blog. I should really be rambling and trying to see how much I can say within a very short period of time again to transcribe properly on to the text. However I must admit, I am in a more introspective mood. I'm more concerned about the sluggishness of myself in the face of oncoming demands. This computer screen is a remarkable window to the world, but at the same time a remarkable barrier and wall. It allows me to hide. Hide in my own cyber reality, and not have to face the big war, or evoke my war. Because the fact is, my big easy is much much bigger than my big warrior. And I so suffer because of that.

Movie at 11.