Puff the Magic Dragon

Dictation Central.

There are days that you just have to really just to dictate, if you want Dragon NaturallySpeaking to be working properly.

This is what happened to me. I had a username with Dragon, and some file obviously got corrupted. I don’t know how, but I think it happened when I was doing a restoration of a previous savings of windows XP. In the process, something that all messed up with Dragon, and when I try to open my username it told me that its files were too large to be opened or something along those lines.

So I had two choices. One choice was to somehow or other tried to find the error and corrected, and I had no luck doing so. The other choice was just a start in the username.

The dilemma with starting a new username is that all of my saved files were lost. Which means all the words that it saved from me in terms of new vocabulary and pronunciation etc. was deleted.

So I started a brand-new username and I’m now saving more words. I don’t know completely the secret of dragons speak freely software. But what I do know is that it is extremely useful and it helps me immensely. He does insert incorrect words here and there, and I can live with that. When I am doing important typing I watch it like a hawk, and if I catch a mistake I usually corrected then. I don’t wait until I finish a paragraph because if I do, I don’t really recall what I said in a previous place and I am not sure how or what word to insert.

But right now, I don’t really care if it records a few errors. I’m just interested in getting as much dictation as possible. This morning I wrote a very important article and I could not have done it without Dragon. I am still not a proficient typist, and I really need to correct errors as I read them. But I’m not doing so today, because I just want to post this text on this web site.

So now I need to find a title for this text. Just call it: Puff the Magic Dragon! I got it!

Holidays & Apathy

The danger of the holiday season

Chestnuts might not be roasting, but the authenticity of the holiday season is upon us more than ever. This is going to be a quick dictation blog. I'm going to rapidfire here.

The holidays really make people nicer? There are some people who feel that the purpose of the holidays is simply goodwill to all men. That is such a wonderful idea. It's a wonderful idea because most people have no idea how to begin practicing such an idea. I just use the word idea maybe six or seven times. I have no idea why.

Are there really people who have an attitude that could only be turned on once a year? After all what is the opposite of nice -- not nice? What is the opposite of love, hate? No. The opposite of love is apathy. The opposite of loving someone is not hating them -- but ignoring them. Being apathetic to them. You don't have to hate someone to the damaging them. Cold apathy is sufficient

We are apathetic to so many people and somebody closes all through the year. Read about tsunamis, hurricanes, and other forms of human tragedy. We don't hate those people, we have nothing "against them." But we don't do anything for them either. And that's because of apathy.

We must find a way to blot out rampant apathy. We must shake people to the core and let them know that simply being apathetic as criminal. Very few of us hate goodness. Most of us are so involved in our own selfish pursuits, that we are naturally apathetic -- even to our closest relatives.

It isn't enough to feed yourself. It isn't enough to feed your own. Charity might begin at home -- but it ain't over till it's over. And it ain't over until you feed the hungry out there in the street.

Charity begins at home but ends in your neighbor's home. No, not the neighbor next door. The neighbor at the other side of the globe.

Charity and apathy. Mortal enemies. Who live side by side.

Don't be apathetic. It's a killer. Feed the hungry. Happy holidays!

The Jerky Tooth Guy

The Jerky Tooth Guy

The seemingly never-ending misadventures of a lousy root canal job, will continue to be told here.

I'm almost ready to name names. I am going to tell you a story. I walk back to this doctor to finish the job. This dumb secretary at the front desk asks me, what insurance do you have? I give her my insurance card which obviously is not one of their favorites. So she tells me you are going to have to wait. And the "wait" had a very distinct ring to it. I am convinced that the order in which patients see the doctor is dependent upon the insurance that they have. I was made to wait THREE hours! And the ironic thing is, this was for the completion of a root canal job, for which I am paying CASH!

I asked several times at the front desk, what the delay is. The answer was, "the doctor is running late."

Anyway, I was finally admitted to an office to wait for him. He flips from office to office, working on what seems to be several patients at a time. At the same time, he is conferring with one of his colleagues regarding construction work in the office. Working on me makes me feel like it is almost an afterthought.

This time, while taking out a temporary filling and looking into my tooth, he decides that part of the area is infected and now I need an antibiotic. In truth I am happy that he caught it -- if he is telling the truth. But my question really was why did you not prescribe an antibiotic the first time? Now he wants me to come back a THIRD time to finish the job should have been completed the first time.

On the way out, the secretary insisted that I pay the entire bill of over $650. I told her I already gave $100 down payment last time and will pay in installments. She said that we need all the money now. I said everybody needs all the money now. But I don't have it to give to her and they will have to wait. She asked for a credit card or head checks. I told her I have a bus to catch which is the last bus out of this neighborhood, you've kept me here for 3 1/2 hours and I'm leaving now. And that's just what I did.

The doctor tells me there will be another hundred dollar charged for a "post." And then perhaps we will put on a crown, and God knows how much more money that will cost. Meanwhile he is talking to a colleague about redecorating various offices for approximately $10,000 each.

I walked away feeling that I do not trust him. Or his establishment. And consequently, I do not feel confident in the dental treatment I am receiving. Although he is a soft-spoken individual, and I would like to believe that he is proficient in his trade, I've lost my confidence in their operation. They were constantly mixing up my charts and records with my son's, because our first names are similar. The mismanagement, ineptitude, and downright neglect and negligence, makes me feel very leery of these people.

So my question is: now I have a second temporary filling in this tooth and have been assigned antibiotics. Can I go to a different dentist to complete the job? Or do I need to go back to the same individual. Will another dentist charge me massive fees for completing someone else's root canal work?

So what's the philosophical question here? The sad quality of medical care in our society today? The scandal of HMOs and insurance carriers?

No. For me the question yesterday was one thing. Will I keep my cool. I said to myself constantly over and over: God is good. God is good. Stay calm. Stay serene. Stay cool and tranquil. It's nothing personal. Don't add stress, angst, and esasperazione to an already uncomfortable situation.

And I believe I was successful. Last time, I left the doctor's office with all kinds of mixed and frustrating feelings. This time, I left there serene and calm. Oh yes, my mind was still churning with some of my disappointment. But within me there was a serenity.

And that was good. A little serenity goes a long way.

Have a very happy holiday season. Because if you won't, no one will have it for you.

Awaiting Deliverance

There are moments in life that present us with a challenge. There are other moments that present us with the response. And then, there is the gap -- often a huge gap -- in between.

We are challenged with dilemmas, tests, frustrations, and sometimes, huge mountains that just seems impossible to climb. And then! Then there is the moment of deliverance. There's a moment when the One on high opens the heavens and the light that shines is so overwhelming, as if there never were a problem to begin with.

But there is the waiting period in between. I have a situation that is going to cost me many thousands of dollars. It is perhaps a happy situation. But you have to be able to pay for it. And right now the challenge is here, but the response -- the deliverance --*sigh,* is not yet on the horizon. More specifically, the deliverance is nowhere to be seen.

It's at moments like this that I find myself standing on the mountaintop, looking across the horizon for that small cloud the size of the fist of a man. The cloud that will irrigate and rain upon the dry arid land. Elijah stands there and says: go forth, and look ye into the sky, for the rain clouds to come. And I look, and look -- but no rain clouds are to be found. The sun burns down in all of its torturous heat, but deliverance is nowhere in sight.

This deliverance is beyond my own doing. If it is to be a gift from above, I have no merit for which to deserve that gift. All I can hope for, is a compassionate miracle. And my life is not one that is used to receiving miracles -- compassionate or otherwise. But I have no choice but to gaze on high, and to beseech the One above for an undeserved deliverance.

How? I know I must make a vessel. I know I must create some involvement on my part, so that He may "partner" with me. This is a big struggle for me. My credit in His eyes is very low -- at least from my perspective. I have done very little worthy of His deliverance. But I have no choice. I have no other avenue but Him. And time is running out.

So I turn to You, Master of Deliverance, and I beseech You: please find a little ray of light. A little bit of light that You can shine upon my small corner. For I have no one else to turn to, but You.

Our Father our King, we have no other King but You.

Necessity

I had the flu this week or what seems like the flu. But more than anything else, I had an epiphany experience this week. I realized that everything is nothing and nothing is everything. It's all just a matter of "necessity." When you have the flu, it is a necessity to rest.

I know, it didn't make any sense what I just said. But I'm not really looking to make sense. Today, I am doing rapidfire dictation. Again. And the reason for that is as follows -- new hard drive, new installation of program, new necessity to see that everything is functioning the way it is supposed to be. You see, it's a necessity.

For those who do not use Dragon speak freely, perhaps you do not know that it needs to be "trained." What I found in the past, is that a multitude of training does not necessarily increase considerably the accuracy of the program. The program by itself, is astonishingly accurate. And that's all that counts to me.

So it is a Friday afternoon. The buses and trains, sometimes they run. It's a cloudy, gloomy day. And a weekend that is coming that doesn't look any brighter. But as Bob Marley said, "everything will be all right." So I guess the gloom is not a necessity.

The flu can be debilitating. Specifically, the respiratory tightness and dry hacking cough that accompanies it. The general prescription is rest, lots of fluid -- to decrease the possibility of dehydration, and perhaps a pain killer here and there, to ease the tightness of muscular pain. But there really is no antibiotic or medication for the flu itself. It is viral, and does not respond to antibiotics. But drinking plenty of fluid is a necessity.

The week went by very quickly. I don't know where it went. Not much was accomplished. Actually, very little if anything. There are two engagement parties to go to Saturday night. One, 50 miles away. My own choice would be -- to go to neither. I will probably go to one. Necessity, is like an older brother coercing you to do your homework. And some things you just do, because of necessity.

But just because something is a necessity, does that really mean it is necessary?

Hard Drive Blues

Well it finally happened. In the process of attempting to set up a new hard drive, my old and main hard drive crashed. My primary account, and all my settings -- and virtually all the programs, passwords, and files that I had created and accumulated over a period of time, have all been been eradicated.

Meanwhile, I'm in the process of setting up a new hard drive. When I spoke to my IT professional, and mentioned that I lost hard drive that had tons of programs on it -- his comment was: that's probably your problem, having "tons" of programs on your hard drive. Best to keep your hard drive as lean, mean and to the point as you can.

The bottom line is -- I'll be out of commission a few days while I do all the setups. So I suggest everyone find an alternative form of amusement until we meet again.

Firewalls and other Roadblocks

It’s 6 p.m., do you know where your programs are?

In the never-ending search for the ideal and most spiffy program, I have changed from one virus control program to another. Specifically, I've installed the ZoneAlarm total suite, that controls firewall, virus, anti-spy ware, cookie and pop up blocker and every other Internet confusion possible.

Suddenly, I'm no longer in control of my programs. I try to load them but I'm given a message that you have no permission to touch that. My classic web sites do not load, as ZoneAlarm attacks them for numerous infractions and sins, too many to mention. Some pages do not load, some programs do not start, and by and large I am being admonished with messages telling me to beware! And super caution! And plain old keep your hands off.

Wait a second, what's going on here? I bought a computer to be able to use programs as I wish. It turns out that most of my efforts, time, and programs these days are simply protecting me from the serious dangers lurking out there, and not even letting me get to my primary programs, for which I've purchased a computer to begin with!

Enough of these antivirus, firewall, anti-spy ware, cookie popper programs! I'm just going to pull the plug on the whole darn Internet. I want to load a document into Word for Windows, a document that I have typed, and not be told that I cannot load it until it is checked for viruses, and other unspecified diseases! And then I wonder why my computer has dragged to a crawl! There are 50 other trucks on the highway before I can ever cross the street!

There has to be an easier way! Isn't that what I purchased a computer for in the first place?

Ouch! Dignity

But really all this raises a much bigger question in my mind. Sitting in the doctor's office I felt so helpless. I felt so much that my fate was not in my hands. I had to wait my turn no matter how much it hurt. They put me in a small room. My ache was getting worse and worse. My entire face was hurting. No one came to give me the attention or to attend to my pain. I mentioned it to one of the dental assistants several times that I'm in excruciating pain, can she please call the doctor and have them expedite my service. But to no avail.

Then I fell on a plan. Maybe I should yell. Yes, good old-fashioned yell. Maybe I should come across as some cantankerous, insane old man. After living more than a half-century on this planet, I felt I was entitled. And I also felt that if I make a scene, an annoying and noisy one, I would get the proper attention that I needed -- quickly!

But my "rational" self piped in saying that it was undignified to do so. And that I would look weird. So I had to choose between looking weird or suffering in excruciating silence. And I chose the silence. What a coward.

But I realized more than ever how helpless I was in that room. How powerless and how weak I was and I could not determine my own fate. And I wondered if this was in store for me as I continue to age? Is aging -- growing old -- a "graceful process," or is it simply a time when we start feeling weaker, and more pain, and the breakdown of that once invulnerable body.

I was diminished. And I struggled to find my dignity that had somehow managed to elude me during my days of tooth torture. The entire event raises some very deep philosophical questions within me. I do not have the answers, nor have I completely formulated the questions. But when I do, I'll let you know.

Root Canal

The root canal

Just when you least expect it. Two days of rather uncomfortable to excruciating pain. I don't usually get toothaches. Actually, I never get tooth ache. But this weekend, the unheard of happened.

After sitting in the doctor's office for two hours writhing in pain, you could've sold me the Brooklyn Bridge. I would have done anything to alleviate the pain. And indeed, I did.

The doctor walked in, examined me, and said you gonna need root canal for that tooth. And your insurance will not cover it, so it's $650. Ready to proceed? Whoa! What alternatives are there? None. I could pull the tooth but that's not a good idea.

I felt like a car stranded on the open highway driving between Montana and New Hampshire. The mechanic looks at it and says, you're going to need new transmission and that'll cost you $700. What choice do I have? Just abandon the car? And believe me, the pain of a toothache is even worse.

So I just looked at the doctor, whom I had never met before and whose qualifications I did not and do not know, and simply said -- do it.

Well, today is day one. We'll see if he was successful. Meanwhile, it’s still hurting. But much much less than before.

I should write more -- but hey, I just had root canal.

The Toothache

Is there a way to really prove the evidence of a painful moment?

Go tell somebody you have a toothache. What impression would that make upon them? If, heaven forfend, you were crushed underneath a vehicle, you're pain, broken bones, blood splattered, would leave undeniable evidence that you are hurting. But tell them that you have a toothache, and they shrug their shoulders. In their eyes, maybe you do, maybe you don't.

Well, my tooth hurts. My tooth has been hurting me, and my gums, since yesterday. But because it is the weekend, there's no dentist around. On the dentist's answering machine there's a message that if you are in a definite urgent emergency, go to the emergency room of your local hospital. Goodness! I would much rather go to a gypsy fortune teller, then to my hospital’s emergency room. I'd have faster service, better luck, and probably similar outcome.

So how to deal with pain. I mean pure, physical pain. An ache that reminds you not just that your mortal -- that's easy. An ache that reminds you that you can hurt at any time, and that in some ways you are very very small.

So Mrs. goes away for the weekend -- actually a week. And suddenly you're all alone. Oh, yes some of the children are around, but it is as if you are alone. They are in their own world, thinking and taking care of themselves. And if you dare to intrude, you will know fast enough where the border lies.

Nurse a pain all by yourself. Feel immersed in your own pain, and your own helplessness. Know, that no one feels your pain but yourself. And the momentary lip service comes and goes.

Enter on the scene, Oragel! A little tube of medication that numbs the teeth and the gums. A remarkable antidote, for just a few dollars. Why didn't I think of this before?! I buy it, I try it, and it works! Incredible! Suddenly the pain has diminished considerably. That huge mountain of a toothache shrinks into a truly tiny molehill. All with one little application.

So maybe that's what they were thinking after all. Hey man, why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill? It hurts? They are easy solutions. We have all been there, done that. Maybe you haven't, so you're panicking. But it's only because you're backward, ignorant, and uninformed. One little visit to the pharmacy and you can set the world right again.

And the whole time I was complaining about my toothache. Maybe that's why I was passed over gently, politely or basically ignored. The catastrophe existed only in my mind. Others did not feel my pain, nor did they feel my concern and worry.

Sometimes, it is so hard to live with myself. What a struggle. Toothaches.